Newsletter 4: Nov- Dec. 2018


Dear Colleagues and Friends,

Very warm greetings to you as we head in to the summer season and the year ending. With this time of year there is a sense of looking back and looking forward. My hope for you is that you will live with no regrets over the past year and with much hope for the coming year.

It has been a wonderful season of delivering the Neuroscience of Attachment workshop around the country in my new role as freelance presenter and clinician. It all started with an invitation to deliver in Wellington then Tauranga and Hamilton, then I went to Dunedin, Christchurch, Auckland  and finally on Nov. 3rd I delivering my last workshop of 2018 in Whangarei.

What a wonderful time of meeting many very gifted therapists and engaging in rich learning together. I don’t plan on delivering The Neuroscience of Attachment workshop again in NZ (unless I am invited by an organisation) but am going to present it in Sydney in February 2019. If you missed it on these shores, why not plan an exotic holiday to the beautiful city of Sydney and tuck this workshop into your professional development schedule.

As many of you know I am a Professional Associate of the Neufeld Institute. I trained with Dr Gordon Neufeld in Vancouver in his attachment-based developmental paradigm. That training did more for me as a therapist and a mother than all my previous academic training combined. Over the past 12  years I have been distilling my understanding of the paradigm in my teaching in the Bachelor of Counselling programme as well as in my conference and workshop presentations. Now I am putting all that learning into a package of training events called Attachment-Based Counselling Levels 1-4. Over the year I am going to be presenting the multiple dimensions of the Attachment-based Developmental Paradigm applied to therapy (mainly with adults but it has huge application to working with children as well as adult romantic relationships since we are all creatures of attachment!). In order for you to gain the most out of this training you will need to go through all the levels in sequential order as the material presumes you know foundational constructs before I apply it to specialist sub-groups of clients or specific therapeutic issues. Find out more in the links below.

Here is what I will be up to in 2019 – I hope to see you at one or more of these events!!!

Events in 2019

Feb 15th 2019

Becoming (more) Fully Human: Sydney, Australia

Feb 16th 2019

The Neuroscience of Attachment: helping our clients move from co-regulation to self-regulation: Sydney, Australia

Feb 22-24th 2019

Working with complex developmental trauma: Insights and clinical applications from attachment theory, emotion regulation and interpersonal neurobiology: Working with Trauma PACFA Conference, Sydney, Australia

March 8th, 2019

Creating a sanctuary for shame- Workshop co-presented with Karen Lorimer. Dunedin, NZ

April 6th, 2019

Attachment-Based Counselling (ABC) – Introductory Level 1: Auckland, NZ

May 11th, 2019

(or 25th? To be confirmed)

Attachment-Based Counselling (ABC) – Level 2: Applied to working with Depression. Auckland, NZ

June 22nd 2019

Creating a sanctuary for shame and shadow– Workshop co-presented with Karen Lorimer. Auckland, NZ

Vaughan Park Anglican Retreat and Conference Centre

Retro Styled Image Of A Hidden Sign For A Spiritual Retreat

August 16-18, 2019

Continuing to create a sanctuary for shame Weekend Retreat co-presented with Karen Lorimer. Dunedin, NZ.

Burns Lodge, Mosgiel, Dunedin (the Chapel and individual rooms)

September 14th, 2019

Attachment-Based Counselling (ABC) – Level 3: Applied to working with Anxiety. Auckland, NZ

October 25-27th, 2019

Continuing to create a sanctuary for shame Weekend Retreat co-presented with Karen Lorimer. Auckland, NZ

November 16th, 2019

Attachment-Based Counselling (ABC) – Level 4: Applied to working with couples and betrayal trauma.

Auckland, NZ.

I thought you might be interested in hearing some of the feedback and suggestions from the participants.

Feedback from workshop participants

“This course taught me to dig deeper for compassion. I am looking forward to attending your day seminar of self-care to avoid compassion fatigue in this work.”

“this course has given me a whole new approach to processing emotions. I have learned to slow down, go step by step [5 steps to processing emotions with clients] and reassessing the fundamentals of the therapeutic relationship.”

“I really appreciated the clarity of working through the 5-step model of working with emotions and the significance of being able to express mixed emotions”

“greater awareness of client’s separation anxiety from a therapist and how that might show up in the work”

“the importance of therapist self-case to protect ourselves from secondary trauma”

When I asked the participants what they might do different as a result of the material, here are what some said:

“I will focus more on helping clients express and name their emotions, giving them permission to freely express themselves, with no shaming but deep empathy.”

“be more of a ‘safe’ place for my clients. Keep asking what went wrong for them rather than what is wrong with them.”

“be more mindful of the importance of attachment-based interactions”

“continue to hold clients with their feelings… to help them co-regulate”

“to work more carefully and slowly with client’s emotions and perhaps find my own tears more regularly”

“validate, support and stay with client’s feelings more, before moving to a ‘fix’”

“be kinder to myself about the imperfect attachments I had and how that has shaped me.”

On that final note, let me end with some grace: we have all been imperfectly loved, and imperfectly love, so be gracious with yourself. In this season where Perfect Love came to earth from heaven, may you know the deep embrace of the Trinity. May your bodies, minds and spirits be renewed by a time of rest and peace as you prepare for the coming year.